Being A Mom

So, I was recently reading (ok ok blog-stalking) a friend's blog. She talked about how the blogs she read only ever talk about the good things in life. How they always make things seem like life is all sunshine and roses. In her words, "I don't buy it". And she's right. Life isn't always good things, sometimes it's bad or tough or overwhelming. After reading her blog, I decided that I should focus more on thoughts and feelings of our family rather than only the "only good things happen to us" and "we're always smiling" pictures.

The truth is life is hard.

Being a mom is really hard. Now, don't get me wrong, I knew it wasn't going to be coos and giggles. I changed my fair share of diapers at KinderCare to know it wasn't always going to be easy. But, to be honest, it hasn't really been that bad. We've had a few long nights that extend into sleep-deprived days. I survived milk coming in, engorgement, and recovering from having the world's most inconvenient stitches. But, I handled it because I was expecting it. I took tons of classes, read even more books and blogs and heard lots of stories. And until today, I was handling being a mom just fine. So, I don't know if it's because Q didn't feel so good yesterday which led to a long morning and day for me yesterday which made today harder or what, but.
Today. Was. Hard.
I think I must have ate something Q didn't handle well. And Q is having a growth spurt, which made that worse. So between lots of dirty diapers and being spit up on quite a bit, I was still doing ok...because I was expecting that sort of thing. However, I wasn't expecting to have a baby that decided to be up for most of the day. That would be great if it was all giggles and smiles and happy things...but it was more like screaming the whole day. He was only happy if he was eating. He ate 3 times in 3 hours this morning. Then, dad came home and gave me a break for an hour in between classes. So I did laundry...which I had to because there were no more clean burp cloths, or sheets, etc. Then, Q ate again and was happy...for a little. We even got a 30 min. nap. Then, dad came home again a few hours later and took him. I started to make my lunch. Right when I was sitting down to eat, Q decided to scream and scream and scream. I know it's frustrating for Steven, just like it is for me. So, I took him and fed him (that's feeding #4). He ate for a few minutes and then was pretty much asleep. I got ready to pass him back to Steven so I could eat when he burped up all over my sleeve and my pants and himself. So he went back to Steven to get changed. In the process, he spit up on Steven. So, Steven took his shirt off and got some new clothes for Q. I changed and went downstairs to switch laundry. I came back up and found Steven without a shirt on and Q in his diaper...Q had spewed again. I finished eating and started folding laundry. A few minutes later, Steven brings me Q wrapped in a blanket (like a toga almost).

So 3 outfits and an entire family wardrobe change later, it couldn't get worse right? Wrong. Most of the afternoon continued like this, except Steven wasn't there. Q would eat for a few minutes, fall asleep (despite my best efforts to keep him awake) I would burp him, and try to lay him down, He'd be fine for a few minutes and then wake up screaming. Now, for a kid who doesn't normally scream unless he's in pain, it makes it hard for me to handle the screaming. Angry screaming. Finally, after the nursing, burping, sleeping, screaming cycle for 2 hours, we fell asleep at about 430. Steven came home at 510 and woke me up (not knowing the kind of day we had). Well, I jumped when he woke me up which moved Q and woke him up and commence screaming again. Finally, at my breaking point, I handed him to Steven. Steven took him realizing I was upset and went to hang out in the nursery while I folded laundry. Steven tried everything swaddling, changing, rocking, singing, pacifier, music...all the things Q normally either loves or tolerates. At about 545 Q was screaming so bad, Steven had to put him in his crib and walk out. So then we have both parents frazzled and a screaming angry child. I had finally composed myself and went to get him and calm him down. He immediately started "giving me kisses" and trying to suck on my nose. How this kid could be hungry, I have no idea. But I fed him...what else could I do? He calmed down and ate enough that I actually got to eat dinner. He sat in his chair and watched. Then, he got fussy again and had to eat on the other side. When he was done and burped, Steven told me he was going to take him on a car ride to take the redbox back and give me some time to relax and work on some homework (which was desperately needed). And he did just that...
When they got home, Q was quiet (he loves himself a good car ride bundled up in the cozy cover). Steven came in and said "come here I want to show you something" He grabbed my hand and led me to the living room where Q was sleeping. That was a good enough present for me! Then he said, "We got you something...open him up" So Hesitantly, I opened him up and found:



a 1 lb Reese's PB cup. (Mine was the holiday kind)
I had seen them last week and we were both astonished they came that big! Steven said, "This is for you, mommy, because we know you had a rough day". It was all I could do not to cry. A sleeping baby and a giant Reese's!!

So the moral of the story...being a mom is hard. It's harder when things happen that you aren't expecting or that you weren't anticipating(like having a screaming baby all day). But, when you have a wonderful husband who is up in the night to change the baby, works, goes to school full time, and then comes home to do whatever he can to make your life easy...
you know you found a keeper.